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Wearing Dress MySundayFeeling
necklace Red Sky At Night

Blogs are a fantastic tool to use for inspiration, but sometimes when we get so engrossed in them its so easy to loose touch with ” reality ” of course what we see is real, but it is a highly edited, curated and styled view, it is an individuals projection of themselves to the world – We almost never see: the overflowing dirty laundry hamper, the tea stained cups sitting in a bowl of 3 day old milky cereal water in the sink, we never see the miscellaneous vegetable item which is no longer recognizable hiding in the bottom of the crisper underneath the bunches of kale you brought 2 weeks ago to kickstart that clean eating thing but never did, we don’t see the hairy legs, the pimples, the masses of hair caught in the drain in the shower, the bags under the eyes, the bad morning breath, the un-ironed shirts and week old tracksuit pants.
but again, in a way we are our own worst enemy – we don’t want to see that, because if we did, we would just need to tear our eyes away from the computer and look around!
we want beauty, we want beautiful images, we hunger for it, it consumes us – to be in search of perfection. There is nothing wrong with appreciating beautiful people & things, but where we let ourselves down is by letting it affect us – in a way that we end up comparing the dull of everyday life to the stylized perfection that we were once using as inspiration, as we sit hunched over faces glued to pinterest scrolling feverishly, pinning like a boss, eyes glazed you are a machine, your tea has gone cold, and your cornflakes soggy as hell, the crusty peices of sleep in your eyes are illuminated by impossibly long legs, perfectly blow-waved hair, immaculate makeup (of course if this isn’t your morning routine insert the old it’s 8pm “oh ill just catch up on my blogs” which turns into holy fuck its 1am, ok ok, just one more pin, eyes bloodshot like an addict)
its so hard not to yearn for something that we perceive as perfection when we almost always routinely force feed it into our eyeballs day in day out – the reality is this: I cant afford to eat out every morning, I have to go to fucking work and i’m earning just enough to cover the mortgage, the last 3 bills that have come in the mail have been on red paper – you know the ones .. and those $300+ boots i’m currently coveting, those “elite” bloggers that all seem to be instagramming themselves wearing them didn’t even buy them! they were sent to them by a pr firm, for free. Times are infact so tough for me at the moment i had to “borrow” a muesli bar to get me through my work day, and i spent my lunch break in the car park lifting up all the floor mats hoping to find a stray $2 to add to my collection of dirty 5 cent pieces raided from the ashtray just so i can purchase a coffee to make myself feel better – do i actually need a coffee? no probably not, i have green tea at work, but i NEED to purchase something. now. My fingernails are a little dirty, and I just found a cat/dog hair in my dinner, I own about 10 pairs of heels, and don’t wear any of them, except for events where I know there will be limited standing, and lots of drinking to ensure absolutely no fucks are given when taking them off.
My hat is off sir, to those mythical creatures who can wear the tony bianco karissa heel all day never have regrowth, dress impeccably 24/7 and have made up ridiculous jobs that pay them exorbitant amounts of money to be able to afford them the sartorial perfection that we all ache over, all while they are out on an extended breakfast/brunch/snack date at the citys hippest cafΓ©, so hip it hasn’t even been hash-tagged yet two lattes in, while they wait for Australia Post to deliver sacks full of gifted merchandise.

I think that the moral is, don’t get caught up in the hype machine, don’t let it make you feel bad about yourself! keep it real – be true to yourself, you like those opshop pants? buy them and wear the fuck out of them! you like that hot tuna vest? werk it girl! you want to dye your hair pink and roll around on the beach – dooooooo ittttttttttt
So i guess now is a good time for me to delve deeper and let you know – what you see, most of the time, is the person i wish i was. Am i a contradiction? yes, am i facepalming? Absolutely
You see I am also my own worst enemy – i’ve been so pre-occupied by what other people seem to “have” not noticing that Self Doubt & that other creep Low Self Esteem have snuck in the back door setting fire to my confidence and poking with sticks until it is a pile of smouldering ash.

it has seemed to have gone hand in hand with my everyday life ever since i can remember, and its a hard horrible feeling to shake, especially when it is all you feel you have known. Its Like your own personal internal mean girls movie, backstabbing and plotting against you …
what i I want you to know is, that you aren’t alone,
its okay, and you will at some point learn to love the things you cannot change, and change those that you can.
I have good days and bad, and sometimes, some days will be worse than others – but what i need to do, and what you need to do is
stop that voice in your head
and say
i will wear pink whenever the fuck i feel like it.


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